1. You give him a standing ovation each time you see him on TV
2. You bought a copy of  a soundtrack, just to look at the pics of him in the booklet
4. Half of your Windows 95/98 system sounds are of Joaq in Gladiator and 8MM
5. You preordered  two copied of Gladiator (one widescreen one regular),  you wore them out by watching them
6. You pray that his limo will breakdown in front of your house
7. You cried when you lost your collection of Gladiator  movie theater stubs 
8. You wear replica Commodus (or togas)  clothes in the middle of July...in 100 degree weather
9. You celebrate the anniversaries of his film's opening days
10. You used a roll and a half of kodak film getting multiple shots of the sign advertising his new movies.... each movie 
11. You glue your photo next to one of JP  and frame it for the Tv-fireplace-shelf where you keep ALL your JPphotos
12. Your answering machine tape sounds like "Hi...I can't come to the phone right now... Joaquin Phoenix  just knocked on my door and wants me to join him at the hip night club in New York to break dance like he did in the Yards "
13. You built a model of the Colosseum, and have a little statue of him sitting on his thrown 
14. You saw Gladiator 43 times to date.. and are waiting for the sequel announcment (I have seen it 43 times and I'm still waiting!)
15. You envy Connie Neilson so much for being in that great movie with him!
16. You have a dream 4 or more nights a week with JP in them
17. Joaq  Phoenix  is your computer starting page

You have to buy your own TV and VCR, because your family has enough watching JP movies.
 Your word processor has been configured so when you write "JP", it changes to "Joaquin Phoenix".
 Your family is seriously considering taking you to therapy because of your "obsession with little brother to River Phoenix".
In a party, someone you've just met starts telling you how he/she enjoyed "Gladiator", and your family waves their arms behind you trying to say "NOOO!!! Don't bring up that subject!!!!!"
You bought twice a magazine because it has JP photos at both pages of the same sheet. (And of course you want them both!!!!!)
 You wanna kiss each guy who believes JP is cool!!!
 You press Pause button in that scene he looks so handsome, and kiss the TV screen. *blushing*.
 You won't hesitate (have no doubts) choosing between a $10,000,000.00 prize and spending 24 hrs with JP.... 
While you're watching Gladiator AGAIN, your sister yells "Grow up!!! You are so *@#%$ obsessed with that ugly weirdo!!!!!" You raise your hands replying "I DON'T CARE!!!!" and show her the finger!!
You *sigh* when you see his name on credits.
 You wrote down in your agenda the Gladiator premiere, and of course you won't make any appointments for that day!!!!
 You have a JP picture in the ceiling over your bed, so he's the first and last thing you see in day. (I have to remove it because my sister started with the song "Grow up!! You're so immature."
 You watch a JP movie on TV although you have a copy in your video collection (I did that with "The Fugitive")
1 You rewind again and again that scene you love, and when someone asks what the hell are you doing, you say" Im watching my favorite moment of my whole life!"
 When you are planning to visit Puerto Rico and look for the place Joaquin was born.